dear alok

it’s me sara writing to you
i know you’ve been feeling lately
that i’ve been taking over you
that i’ve been taking away from your masculinity
that i represent your weaknesses
that i’m the source of your problems

come my love and i’ll tell you something
i’m not the one you think i am

i’m not weak sara
vulnerable sara
who’s searching for security
who’s looking for someone to love her
someone with whom she’ll feel that she could also receive
in a world in which she only gives

this weak sara is your creation
the convenience of having something
to point out as your source of weakness

i’m a sara you don’t know
i’m strong
i’m independent
i’m searching for my own way
i don’t spend time only on being afraid
i celebrate
i go wild

this is the real sara
but she’s buried so deep
in the mould created by our childhood
by society
by stereotypes

sara has more important and interesting concerns
than does and how much her man love her

sara lives in a much more fascinating world
than a world summed up into
does or doesn’t her man want to fuck her
and into measuring the quality of his intercourse

i’m a caring and giving sara
but i’m also the sara who knows to demand
and get what she wants
i’m the sara who doesn’t let anyone humiliate her
i’m the sara who doesn’t beg
i’m the sara who steers her life
and determines her daily agenda
i’m strong but also sensitive
sensitive to the feelings of others
but mostly to mine

i cry
but i don’t feel a victim
my heart isn’t made of stone
yet it’s strong and not fragile
it’s flexible
it’s alive and breathing and beating and singing
and my heart is your heart
my dance is your dance

when you feel a victim
beaten up
don’t block the feelings you have towards me
feel me
i’m your source of strength
surely not your source of weakness

i love you
appreciate you
and as of today merged together with you

with a consolidated burning heart
yours
sara

© 2000. All Rights Reserved.
Zemach Zohar Wilson, Pune India, July 2000